come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
