All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
