You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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