So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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