It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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