i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
