how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
