How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
