Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
