How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
