whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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