Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
