Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
