We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm at about main and main street
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize