i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
