Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
