was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
