Can i not drive my cunt home
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
