I feel like abortions should bother me more
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
