I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
