I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my poor anus
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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