No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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