It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
