wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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