i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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