Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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