yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
