? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
