Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize