Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
