I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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