I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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