he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
