he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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