wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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