I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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