I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
