At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
