had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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