Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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