I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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