i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
