Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
