There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
