I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
