I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
