Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
