if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
