maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
