Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
