if you like me you must not know who I am
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
